The "Aha" Moment

[kaa0227]

Critiqued were Second time applicant looking for critique and Receivers and Givers

As we were walking down the stairs to the emergency room my clinical instructor and I found ourselves behind the lead trauma surgeon. That’s when we knew that something serious was coming into the emergency room, so we followed him into trauma bay 1. Next thing I knew I was standing in the corner of the trauma bay surrounded by medical personnel preparing for what was about to arrive. My stomach dropped when I saw the EMTs wheeling in a male patient. The man was losing a lot of blood and both of his arms were being held together with bandages. It turns out this man had been involved in a propane explosion. What I experienced in the trauma bay was nothing like an episode of Grey's Anatomy. A one word description would be orchestra. The attending physician being the conductor; he was the only one who spoke. Every individual in the bay knew what they had to do to keep this man alive. As they unwrapped the bandages on each arm more blood started to drip off the table to the floor. Both upper extremities were amputated eighty percent. The cut through his arm was so clean that I could make out each section of muscle perfectly. This whole experience was an adrenaline rush. What intrigued me was how they were able to save his life, along with one of his arms. I wanted to be in the operating room watching and being part of this impressive orchestra of medical professionals.

I became involved with health care early in high school thinking physical therapy was a great career choice. As an athlete, spending countless hours in physical therapy myself, this option seemed to be a great fit. I love being a physical therapist but felt something was missing. It was that experience in the trauma unit, my “aha moment” that solidified my path to becoming a physician assistant. Incorporating two areas of healing. Over the last couple years, I have gained a greater respect for how delicate the human body is. It is my opinion having my doctor of physical therapy degree is an asset to becoming a successful physician assistant. It gives me a wider foundation of knowledge. Adding to the medical understanding as well as the physiological functions of the human anatomy. My outgoing personality enables me to communicate effectively and build relationships with the patients. As a professional in the health field it is critical to focus solely and attentively on each patient.

During my first year of college I became more focused on my social activities rather than on my studies. My academics suffered and resulted with less than stellar grades. During my second year I realized those poor grades were not going to lead me to my goals. It was time to decide which path I was going to follow. School was to become my priority. My escapades cost me a poor GPA that year and having to retake courses. In the following years my grades improved significantly and I was accepted into Long Island University, Brooklyn, New York with a partial scholarship. This is a reflection of me as an engaged student striving to obtain my goal.

Long Island University values diversity. It was a part of Brooklyn, helping those in need. Students come from all fifty states and 70 foreign countries. Living in Brooklyn was quite the experience. Never before I had been exposed to so many different cultural backgrounds and ethnicities. One could reflect on the experience as visiting a foreign country. Especially with the rest of New York just across the river or crossing the wondrous Brooklyn Bridge.

I am a people person; I enjoy interacting with others. Being so involved in athletics, I appreciate being part of a team. It is both energizing and motivating. I value the exchange of ideas and collaborative process that a team experience demands. “The most important thing in life is to live your life for something more important than your life” William James. This is the philosophy that I aspire to become a physician assistant. I want to provide quality healthcare; to use my education and experience to aid and assist others. It is with this I am trying to make a difference. Patients would benefit from my background in other areas of healthcare, my compassion to assist and my attention to detail. As I embark on this new endeavor I bring with me strong interpersonal skills and a reassuring, confident attitude towards patients. Serving those in need and all too often neglected. With this foundation and practical experience I am ready to begin my formal training to become a physician assistant.

My goal is to become a physician assistant and in conjunction with physical therapy, work to enable people to lead healthy, more productive lives. I am confident that my character traits and personality are a great fit for the medical field and a lifetime career as a physician assistant.

“In examining disease, we gain wisdom about anatomy and physiology and biology. In examining the person with disease, we gain wisdom about life.” ― Oliver Sacks

[GirlonFire112]

Hi!

I want to throw this out there first...I made a lot of comments in a word doc but it wouldn't let me upload it here...send me an email and I can send it to you!

I want to start with you came in strong with the first paragraph. And overall you have all the right points you want to make throughout your essay.
1. What drew you into medicine
2. addressed poor grades
3. explained qualities you think you have to be a good PA

All good points.

Now on to the "could use some work"
In reference to the second paragraph: Overall an ok paragraph. I get what you are trying to say but I think it needs a little more background info. Are you a PT right now? Doesn’t really say WHY PA. It really more explains why you like emergency medicine. Don’t use your opinion. Say something like being a PT has given me xyz. I think your last sentence is your WHY you want to go PA.

In reference to the third paragraph: Again I see what you are trying to accomplish with this paragraph but I’m not feeling anything. Own up to your faults and really describe what you did to overcome and why your goals are important to you.

Fourth: How does all this tie into you wanting to be a PA? I’m guessing you added this and an experience to what would help you as a PA. Say so somewhere in there.

Lastly, end strong and in your own words. How does that quote tell them who you are. Dont be afraid to really say who you are.


Again overall has some really great points and if you want all the comments I made throughout just PM your email and I will shoot over the word doc with all my comments.