I was wondering if you could help me with my PS. I write about my past experiences in the healthcare field and how that has prepared me to apply to PA school. I did a premed program and I am wondering if I'm answering the question, Why PA? as opposed to reapplying to med school. I am also wondering if I reveal enough of my personality in the essay.
Thank you for reading this!
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On the last day of lecture, my microbiology professor imparted some deadpan advice: “Life is going to hand you a lot of crap. Unless you do something with it, it’s going to stay as just that.” While I chuckled alongside my classmates, I felt like she was speaking directly to me.
Five years ago, I was attending a prestigious post-baccalaureate premedical program in New York, studying biology and organic chemistry for the first time in my life. I buried myself in textbooks alongside other impassioned post-bacc’s, challenging myself to think in ways I never had to before. I had flown across the country inspired by my grandmother’s role in my life to consider becoming a geriatrician or psychiatrist. In reality however, I wasn’t quite convinced it was going to be through medical school. Despite the deep respect I held for doctors, something in my heart was telling me the well-trodden path to medical school was not for me. I endured because of my conviction that I always wanted to help people as a profession, and as a clinician follows her intuition, I began to follow mine, leading me to an adventure that continues to open doors of opportunity and self-discovery.
My experiences in New York were indeed the beginning of my odyssey. Immediately after I enrolled, I began to volunteer amid the clamor of the Pediatric Emergency Department, using all five senses to keep pace with the brimming atmosphere. Shrill cries of babies, bright fluorescent lights, and the smell of hand sanitizer fanned by the coattails of doctors gliding by introduced me to the organized chaos of emergency medicine. When I wasn’t volunteering I tackled odd jobs including as a personal assistant to an interior designer and a housekeeper to a chain-smoker who liked to make conversation while I mopped around her three cats. I grew up through experiencing the daily grind of working an office job, as well as the loneliness that accompanies independence. In the midst of this balancing act, I also explored aspects of medicine that always captivated me, including mental health and working with the elderly. One summer I had the chance to shadow a geriatrician as a research assistant. On her study on self-neglect I had the unique opportunity to observe a physical exam on a homebound senior, and on the taxi ride back discuss the questions I had about the patient’s responses to the Mini Mental Status Exam. Then for a year I expanded my foundation with geriatric psychiatry as a clinical research assistant. Throughout all my work experience, I realize that I am consistently drawn to positions where I can connect to people, young or old, through their health.
As I researched the role of a physician assistant, it appealed to me in a way becoming a medical doctor lacked. I sought out contacts in the University Hospital that put me in touch with a PA in the Department of Neurosurgery. Witnessing his interaction with nurses, physicians, and patients in the ICU reminded of the exhilaration I felt shadowing emergency medicine physicians into the late evenings in New York. The impact of his role on the ICU floor rekindled my desire to further my premedical background. The teamwork aspect that first appealed to me in the ER five years ago was unmistakable in the ICU, renewing my desires and driving me to become a PA.
I have determined that no matter what I do with my life, my contribution to society will be through the healthcare field. From discovering what I don’t want to do, what keeps me striving toward success. Like the bacteria that make fertilizer from dirt to benefit the crops growing in it, I continue cultivating my past experiences to enrich my future ones. Compared to five years ago, I am stronger and prepared to take on this journey towards becoming a PA. My past experience affirms this and well-meaning tough love from mentors will continue to inspire me. Ultimately I hope to not only continue to better myself, but as a physician assistant, be of integral benefit to others.
PS draft
Re: PS draft
Fj:
I really enjoyed this. It kept me reading when I was about to leave the house, and it seems you're going to make me late for my date. That's exactly what you want (your essay, not me being late for my date).
What I liked:
Confident, yet humble, self-assured tone. Great introductory paragraph that grabs the reader. Nice insights about how you may have been doing medical school more for others than for yourself. A nice flow and progression from paragraph to paragraph. These transitions are often handled poorly by applicants, or not at all.
Ideas for revision:
1) I loved the first paragraph, and I would like to see you tie at least one of your subsequent paragraphs to it, and then return to it in your conclusion. How did this story influence your path? You share that, but you were a little too subtle. I would say something like, "I did blah blah, and experiences like these seemed to magically turn "crap" into meaningful life experiences" (I'm sure you can do better in your own words - just put crap in quotes if you say it after the first paragraph.)
2) I get why NOT medical school, but I didn't hear you speak to why YES PA school, as I think you were wondering. Don't get rid of your reflections on medical school - they're a nice illustration of your self-awareness. But find a way to add something about why YES PA when you talk about your subsequent experiences.
3) Finally, I think you ran into big trouble in your conclusion. Your first two sentences sort of implied that you still aren't sure what you want to do with yourself, but you're sure it's NOT medical school. This can lead admissions committees (rightly) to worry that PA school may just be the latest experiment in your life. If you're sure you want to be a PA, then in the previous paragraphs you will have explained why, and in the final one you will underline that and return to your anecdote from the first paragraph. You want them to know 1) you're serious about this, 2) it's the perfect next step for you, given what you've learned about yourself and the PA field, and 3) Conclude with a nod to your intro, so they feel a sense of completion, and that they see they have read that first paragraph for a very good reason. In short, tie it all up for them with a great big bow.
All in all, a very good essay that can be amazing if you push it just a little further.
Let us know how it goes.
P
I really enjoyed this. It kept me reading when I was about to leave the house, and it seems you're going to make me late for my date. That's exactly what you want (your essay, not me being late for my date).
What I liked:
Confident, yet humble, self-assured tone. Great introductory paragraph that grabs the reader. Nice insights about how you may have been doing medical school more for others than for yourself. A nice flow and progression from paragraph to paragraph. These transitions are often handled poorly by applicants, or not at all.
Ideas for revision:
1) I loved the first paragraph, and I would like to see you tie at least one of your subsequent paragraphs to it, and then return to it in your conclusion. How did this story influence your path? You share that, but you were a little too subtle. I would say something like, "I did blah blah, and experiences like these seemed to magically turn "crap" into meaningful life experiences" (I'm sure you can do better in your own words - just put crap in quotes if you say it after the first paragraph.)
2) I get why NOT medical school, but I didn't hear you speak to why YES PA school, as I think you were wondering. Don't get rid of your reflections on medical school - they're a nice illustration of your self-awareness. But find a way to add something about why YES PA when you talk about your subsequent experiences.
3) Finally, I think you ran into big trouble in your conclusion. Your first two sentences sort of implied that you still aren't sure what you want to do with yourself, but you're sure it's NOT medical school. This can lead admissions committees (rightly) to worry that PA school may just be the latest experiment in your life. If you're sure you want to be a PA, then in the previous paragraphs you will have explained why, and in the final one you will underline that and return to your anecdote from the first paragraph. You want them to know 1) you're serious about this, 2) it's the perfect next step for you, given what you've learned about yourself and the PA field, and 3) Conclude with a nod to your intro, so they feel a sense of completion, and that they see they have read that first paragraph for a very good reason. In short, tie it all up for them with a great big bow.
All in all, a very good essay that can be amazing if you push it just a little further.
Let us know how it goes.
P
Re: PS draft
Paul, Thank you so much for your input. Your words are so inspiring. I also agreed with your critiques. It is imperative that I talk about why PA and be straightforward about it. Here is my revision.
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On the last day of lecture, my microbiology professor imparted some deadpan advice: “Life is going to hand you a lot of crap. Unless you do something with it, it’s going to stay as just that.” While I chuckled alongside my classmates, I felt she was speaking directly to me.
Five years ago, I was attending a prestigious post-baccalaureate premedical program in New York City, studying biology and organic chemistry for the first time in my life. I buried myself in textbooks alongside other impassioned post-bacc’s, challenging myself to think in ways I never had to before. I had bid farewell to my mom, grandma, and sisters to fly across the country, partly inspired by the relationship with my grandma to consider becoming a geriatrician, and partly driven from my undergraduate volunteering days as a crisis hotline counselor to consider psychiatry. In reality though, I wasn’t quite convinced it was going to be through medical school. Despite the deep respect I held for doctors, something in my heart was telling me the well-trodden path to medical school was somehow inadequate for me. I endured because of my conviction to help people as a profession, and as a clinician follows her intuition, I began to follow mine, leading me to an adventure that continues to open doors to opportunity and self-discovery.
My experiences in New York were indeed the beginning of an odyssey. Immediately after I enrolled, I began to volunteer amid the clamor of a Pediatric Emergency Department, using all five senses to keep pace with the brimming atmosphere. Shrill cries of babies, bright fluorescent lights, and the smell of hand sanitizer fanned by the coattails of doctors gliding by introduced me to the organized chaos of emergency medicine. Outside the hospital I tackled odd jobs including as a personal assistant to an interior designer and as housekeeper to a chain-smoker who liked to make conversation while I mopped around her three cats. I grew through experiencing the daily grind of working an office job, as well as the loneliness that accompanies independence.
In the midst of this balancing act, I also explored aspects of medicine that had captivated me since college, including mental health and working with the elderly. One summer I shadowed a geriatrician studying self-neglect in homebound elderly and compliance to receive care. As a research assistant I had the unique opportunity to observe a physical exam on a homebound senior, and on the taxi ride back discuss the patient’s responses to the Mini Mental Status Exam and how it tied into the mentality of refusing care. I expanded my foundation of geriatric medicine as a clinical research assistant interviewing elderly in a depression and cognitive function study. Throughout my work experience including as an ophthalmic patient coordinator, I realized I was consistently drawn to positions where I connected to people one-on-one, young or old, through their health. I also found myself valuing the time consulting with physicians and being a team member in the treatment of a single patient. When I realized that medical school was not for me, I began to reevaluate what I wanted in a healthcare career. I remembered that my aunt, an oncology nurse, had encouraged me to consider a physician assistant program.
As I researched the role of a physician assistant, it appealed to me in ways the role of a medical doctor lacked. I love that PAs can turn to doctors for advice while simultaneously accomplishing many of the same responsibilities toward patient care. The PA often has a humbling and privileged role as the first point of contact for patients, whether in primary care or a specialty like emergency medicine or psychiatry. Additionally the flexibility to change specialties optimizes the notion that a PA career will honestly reflect my growth as a clinician, perhaps greater than being a doctor can. Soon I sought out contacts in the University Hospital that connected me to a PA in Neurosurgery. Witnessing his interaction with nurses, physicians, and patients in the ICU reminded of the exhilarated evenings I once spent shadowing ER physicians, yet his role in the collaborative approach to inpatient care was unmistakably unique. More importantly, I was compelled to become him.
Looking back now, it is easier to connect the dots among my initial desires and the different paths I chose. From my nascent desire to work one-on-one with elderly and the incredibly rich experiences I had in clinical research and healthcare, to the intriguing realities of a PA career, I am determined that my contribution to society will continue with PA school. Like the bacteria that turn soil into fertilizer to nurture plant life, experience has taught me I must strive to repurpose any apparent “crap,” in life into an advantage. My microbiology professor had reminded me that it is only by facing our weaknesses can we discover our strengths. Compared to five years ago, I am stronger-willed and prepared to begin the journey to become a physician assistant. I hope that through PA school I will continue to cultivate my past experiences to enrich my future ones.
--------------------------------------------------------
On the last day of lecture, my microbiology professor imparted some deadpan advice: “Life is going to hand you a lot of crap. Unless you do something with it, it’s going to stay as just that.” While I chuckled alongside my classmates, I felt she was speaking directly to me.
Five years ago, I was attending a prestigious post-baccalaureate premedical program in New York City, studying biology and organic chemistry for the first time in my life. I buried myself in textbooks alongside other impassioned post-bacc’s, challenging myself to think in ways I never had to before. I had bid farewell to my mom, grandma, and sisters to fly across the country, partly inspired by the relationship with my grandma to consider becoming a geriatrician, and partly driven from my undergraduate volunteering days as a crisis hotline counselor to consider psychiatry. In reality though, I wasn’t quite convinced it was going to be through medical school. Despite the deep respect I held for doctors, something in my heart was telling me the well-trodden path to medical school was somehow inadequate for me. I endured because of my conviction to help people as a profession, and as a clinician follows her intuition, I began to follow mine, leading me to an adventure that continues to open doors to opportunity and self-discovery.
My experiences in New York were indeed the beginning of an odyssey. Immediately after I enrolled, I began to volunteer amid the clamor of a Pediatric Emergency Department, using all five senses to keep pace with the brimming atmosphere. Shrill cries of babies, bright fluorescent lights, and the smell of hand sanitizer fanned by the coattails of doctors gliding by introduced me to the organized chaos of emergency medicine. Outside the hospital I tackled odd jobs including as a personal assistant to an interior designer and as housekeeper to a chain-smoker who liked to make conversation while I mopped around her three cats. I grew through experiencing the daily grind of working an office job, as well as the loneliness that accompanies independence.
In the midst of this balancing act, I also explored aspects of medicine that had captivated me since college, including mental health and working with the elderly. One summer I shadowed a geriatrician studying self-neglect in homebound elderly and compliance to receive care. As a research assistant I had the unique opportunity to observe a physical exam on a homebound senior, and on the taxi ride back discuss the patient’s responses to the Mini Mental Status Exam and how it tied into the mentality of refusing care. I expanded my foundation of geriatric medicine as a clinical research assistant interviewing elderly in a depression and cognitive function study. Throughout my work experience including as an ophthalmic patient coordinator, I realized I was consistently drawn to positions where I connected to people one-on-one, young or old, through their health. I also found myself valuing the time consulting with physicians and being a team member in the treatment of a single patient. When I realized that medical school was not for me, I began to reevaluate what I wanted in a healthcare career. I remembered that my aunt, an oncology nurse, had encouraged me to consider a physician assistant program.
As I researched the role of a physician assistant, it appealed to me in ways the role of a medical doctor lacked. I love that PAs can turn to doctors for advice while simultaneously accomplishing many of the same responsibilities toward patient care. The PA often has a humbling and privileged role as the first point of contact for patients, whether in primary care or a specialty like emergency medicine or psychiatry. Additionally the flexibility to change specialties optimizes the notion that a PA career will honestly reflect my growth as a clinician, perhaps greater than being a doctor can. Soon I sought out contacts in the University Hospital that connected me to a PA in Neurosurgery. Witnessing his interaction with nurses, physicians, and patients in the ICU reminded of the exhilarated evenings I once spent shadowing ER physicians, yet his role in the collaborative approach to inpatient care was unmistakably unique. More importantly, I was compelled to become him.
Looking back now, it is easier to connect the dots among my initial desires and the different paths I chose. From my nascent desire to work one-on-one with elderly and the incredibly rich experiences I had in clinical research and healthcare, to the intriguing realities of a PA career, I am determined that my contribution to society will continue with PA school. Like the bacteria that turn soil into fertilizer to nurture plant life, experience has taught me I must strive to repurpose any apparent “crap,” in life into an advantage. My microbiology professor had reminded me that it is only by facing our weaknesses can we discover our strengths. Compared to five years ago, I am stronger-willed and prepared to begin the journey to become a physician assistant. I hope that through PA school I will continue to cultivate my past experiences to enrich my future ones.