Okay, so what do we have?

[heath_fea10]

I reviewed "corpsman to PA" by jmcred88 and "a true patient connection" by tj1986

Any feedback/constructive criticism is welcome, and let me know if you would like me to review your statement.

Two months into being a medical scribe, I had the most extraordinary day. Ambulance sirens were wailing nonstop outside. EMTs and Paramedics were rolling in patients on stretchers one after another. The hallways and Emergency Department (ED) rooms were filled with patients yelling for a doctor, radiology technicians were wheeling x-ray machines through the masses of patients, and nurses calling out triage orders and taking patient lab samples. I had just finished preparing and marking a patient’s chart for discharge when the doctor came over with another chart in his hands, looked at his watch, looked at the physician assistant (PA) I was scribing for and asked “Okay, so what do we have?”
I listened carefully as the PA looked around at the chaos and began reciting information about the patients in each room, hallway, and stretcher, taking note of how she presented the material. When she reached the room of a female patient presenting with acute sharp right lower quadrant abdominal pain, she looked at me to give the report. Ignoring my nerves, I mentally reviewed the patient’s history of present illness, review of systems, physical exam, lab results, and differential diagnoses I had gathered from my communications with the patients, doctors, nurses, radiology technicians, other PAs, and EMTs and reported that the CT scan and lab results indicated the patient had a kidney stone. The doctor and PA both nodded in agreement, and we continued discussing the rest of the patients. Later on the PA praised me for my crucial anticipation of the ED process, which helped ensure the patient received a complete and thorough diagnosis. My sensitivity to the needs of the patient had a strong origin in watching the PA interact with the patients throughout our shift together. Never before had I been so proud of my organizational prowess that allowed me to differentiate between multiple patient interviews with diverse ranges of medical problems. The rest of my shift flew by and I didn’t want to leave; I couldn’t wait to come back and immerse myself in the collaborative learning environment we created. I thrived on the rush, the sense of accomplishment, the recognition of being part of a team dedicated to using our diverse skill set to provide exceptional medical care- and I knew I wanted more.
On that amazing day I realized that although I valued my background in biotechnology research and quality engineering, I craved a career that offered a continuous learning posture combined with direct patient contact in the future of modern medical care. I was able to observe these qualities in practice when observing a new PA in the ED. I would document her inquiry-based learning process and find that the patient care PAs provided was a powerful combination of hard earned knowledge gleaned from academics, application of personal experience, and peer consultation. Thus invigorated with the anticipation of exposure to the various PA specialties I took the opportunity to shadow a primary care PA. Anecdotes of his 40 years of experience in both the army and primary care inspired me to develop a diverse skill set in order to respond to changes in patient needs and improve medical practices and technologies.
Eager to gain more patient interaction I became a physical therapist aide at a Physical Therapy Clinic where I utilized various techniques to promote mobility, strength, and healing, and became familiarized with the cooperation of all parties involved in PT care. Initially I was surprised that most physical therapy patients were nervous, skeptical, and easily frustrated when they didn’t heal on their terms. I had to gain the patient’s trust to positively influence their outlook and performance in physical therapy treatment by explaining the mechanisms and purpose behind their treatments. This taught me that as a healthcare provider and future PA I have a responsibility to promote a healthy and nurturing environment with cooperation, patience, and teamwork on both sides.
Strong interprofessional communication, great work ethic, and sensitivity to all aspects of patient care have enabled me to create a quality environment for people. I am confident that this is just the beginning of my future in healthcare, and that I will constantly seek new challenges to make myself a great PA. I am excited to contribute to a class of PAs who take pride in being integral team players who are trusted to provide patients with the future of better healthcare and medicine.

[chornbro]

Hey there!

Pro: I love the scribe perspective of a "fly on the wall" and how you then come into your own and give rapport on the patient to the doctor/ PA. Shows you have a good understanding of the PA job process.

Needs improvement: I think your flow is a little choppy. If you are going to describe the emergency room give it a great vivid picture. Anything to draw the reader in. I also work emergency alongside some lovely scribes so I know where you are coming from. Try to put in Why PA versus why not a doctor or a nurse or something. what is it specifically about PA that makes you a great candidate for that job. Also theres no mention of your past school and such. paint us a picture of who you are and make me want to go on the journey of PA with you.

Best of luck, you got some great building blocks here!

I will be posting my own (very rough) rough draft of my essay that I started writing today. Hope to get some feedback from you!

Best,

Carina
(username:chornbro)

[astone]

Overall I think its great and on track.
I agree with the previous comments.
Pro: Definitely answers why PA and is intriguing.
Needs improvement: I am confused with your back ground. Scribe but also biotechnology research and quality engineering? Was that a degree? And PT aide. All sounds like great experience but I would clarify. I think this you help with the flow too.
And I would mention why not Dr because you do mention one.

I am definitely no expert, just my thoughts, take them or leave them.
I would love some feedback on mine if you don't mind
Good luck!