Bodybuilding and PA, it all adds up.

[bduncan55]

First draft of personal statements. Please be harsh and point out any spelling/grammar errors. Thank you!

“A chain is only as strong as its weakest link”. This saying is simple but carries the powerful meaning that teamwork is vital and that a successful group relies on each member performing well and doing their part. I have found that this meaning that can be applied to nearly every aspect of life from academics and volunteer positions, to fundamentals of bodybuilding, all of which require leadership roles where teamwork is key. But, to me it seems that this motto is most vital in the field of healthcare. The healthcare team has an uncountable number of “links” in its chain, from nurses and doctors, to techs and environmental service workers. Though all parts of the team involved in healthcare are vital, one member that cannot go unmentioned is the physician assistant.
The gym is a place where things like enthusiasm, commitment and especially teamwork are vital qualities for success. I was able to realize the importance of these qualities first hand during high school, where I was able to assist a friend in starting his personal gym. I was able to both participate in and lead workouts for other friends and family members, taking on a small leadership role. Though I had this independence, I still reported back to the gym owner with questions, concerns and assignments. I was able to have some independence without complete responsibility for any and all issues that arose. This was my first experience with such relaxed autonomy, the same autonomy that a physician assistant has in a clinical setting. Though it was just a taste of independence, I knew a career with the same freedom was in my future, and it was not until my academic career at Arizona State University I realized that physician assistant was the job for me.
Working in the medical field always seemed like a future career choice, but I never quite knew what specific branch of medicine I wanted to go into. I knew that whatever field of medicine I entered, the option to practice autonomously, but to ultimately be part of a larger healthcare team was a necessity. When first entering my academic career, I always had an interest in science classes, from organic chemistry to anatomy and physiology. At first, I struggled with these classes and doubted whether I could see myself in this field in 10 years. It wasn’t until my transfer to Arizona State University that things began to fall into place and a spark lit, igniting my interest in the sciences. During my last year at ASU, I became a research assistant in an exercise physiology lab conduction exercise and sports science research. In the lab I became the senior researcher and was able to lead a small team of researchers through various studies. The responsibilities that came with this position were those that I always found myself drawn to, the role of having a degree of autonomy yet still sharing responsibility with a team and reporting to a higher authority for guidance…the same roles a physician assistant has. Again, I found myself coming back to this career choice.
As my undergraduate chapter slowly began to close and I was finishing the last of my science classes, it was solidified that the field of medicine was the place I wanted to be. Though I knew medicine was for me, I had never had any real exposure until my last semester at ASU. I earned a clinical volunteer internship based out of the Banner Good Samaritan Hospital emergency room. I was in the thick of everything, from seeing ingrown toenails to aiding in changing of catheters and seeing level 1 traumas. It was a bit overwhelming, but I loved it. While there I became an integral part of the healthcare team in the emergency room, and got to work directly with the physician assistant in the hospital. The responsibilities of the career that I observed matched all the aspects that I had developed and learned to love.
Through the previous experiences that I had in my academic career and life, I was able to develop proper fundamentals such as leadership, independence and teamwork, along with a strong foundation that the career of physician assistant requires. Through various clinical positions I was able to gain knowledge of the real life roles that a physician assistant needs in the healthcare field, from patient care to the teamwork and synchronization needed to mesh with the healthcare team. The challenges that come in the future, I will be able to give it my best effort through the strong fundamentals and foundations built from my past experiences. Overall, it is an important and vital career that is becoming more and more important in care facilities everywhere, and I am looking forward to bringing my determination and individuality to the career, and being able to make a difference in the occupation.

[CTtech]

"I have found that this meaning that can be applied to nearly every aspect of life from academics and volunteer positions, to fundamentals of bodybuilding, all of which require leadership roles where teamwork is key. ". Something doesn't sound right here. I would take out the second "that" In the sentence or maybe even try rewording this sentence.

"But, to me it seems that this motto is most vital in the field of healthcare. "....... You should never start a sentence with the word "But"

Since you abbreviated Arizona State University, you should go back and put "(ASU) after your first use of Arizona state university, then you can use its abbreviations properly.

Hope this isn't too harsh for you, but I felt that this was only ok. I read this a few times and the answer I got for why you want to be a PA is because you like working autonomously and with a team. I feel like you should expand more with another reason, because there are many other healthcare fields that work autonomously and on a team too.

[dsquire326]

You have a lot of good experiences and lessons learned to work with in crafting your essay. You do well in applying each experience to what has driven you to the pursuit of becoming a PA.
The second paragraph starts with a list of valuable attributes but instead of writing the words “enthusiasm, commitment, and teamwork,” save your words and space for quality examples and experiences that show you have those attributes. The readers will see those attributes in you better if you leave them off the written page. It seems like you are often writing about what you did and the positions you held but they have access to that information so maybe you can focus on how you felt about doing a certain thing in each particular role, or a great learning experience you had in one of those roles. Lastly, as you are probably already working on it, condense to be concise.

[emilyclairebray]

I really like what you have here. It shows you are different from other applicants who always knew they wanted to be a physician assistant. The wording is a little bit choppy however so I would take this to an English major or writing center to see what they can help you with. Also, at the bottom of paragraph two when you say, " that physician assistant was the job for me." I think here you should say that "become a physician assistant is the path for me" or the "physician assistant career is for me." Something along those lines as this wording is a little off in my opinion. Otherwise, great work!